It's nice to see him smile
by Daine Yuy
Summary: Janeway's thoughts after Endgame. I couldn't type the full title on the title space, so it is really titled 'Even though my heart is breaking, it's nice to see him smile. Kinda sad. *New* added are Seven's thoughts.
1. Default Chapter

Hi! I decided that I was gonna write another story. It has more J/C than Distrust, but it takes place after **shudder** Endgame. This is just a little peek into her head to discover her feelings about the **shudders more** C/7. Remember, this is my second Voyager fic, so be nice. And thanks to the people who reviewed Distrust, but if you wanna see a follow-up, I need five reviews.   
Disclaimer-I don't own Voyager because if I did, I wouldn't screw up Endgame like they did.  
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I see you on the bridge and realize that you have moved on. And I realize with who. I try to drudge up sadness, or anger, but all I feel is a mixture of happiness, envy, and guilt. Oh, who am I kidding? My heart is breaking. Until you do something that you haven't truly done in years. You smile. Your eyes fill with concern as you realize that I'm not as happy as I should be. I should be ecstatic. We're home, and the Maquis will receive full pardons. But still, all I feel is heartbreak. It's just us on the bridge, Tom and Harry are looking after Tom's daughter, and Tuvok is meditating. Until she enters. I feel you instantly brighten. "Captain." She says. And then she sees my eyes, and then no words are used. "Would you like to have dinner with us?" she asks, sounding guilty for her. He doesn't notice, and looks at me. She tries to smile, but her eyes say that she is sorry. "Go ahead," I reply, not standing to see them together. "I have one more report to do, and I'd like to do it." Chakotay nods, and walks to the turbolift. She joins him, and then pauses, wanting my approval. I nod slightly, only she can see it. She smiles sadly, and leaves. I try to feel anger, but the truth is, even though my heart is breaking, it's nice to see him smile.  
  
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Well, that's it. Please review and tell me if you like it.  



	2. I never meant to hurt her

Hello every one! Thank you for reviewing.  
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I work in Astrometrics, scanning the already-charted space of the Alpha Quadrant. Scanning is not an efficient use of my time. But I am only wasting time, because I cannot   
wait to see you. My shift ends, and I go to the turbolift. I see Ensign Kim walking towards me. He talks a bit, but the banter is inefficient and crude. I ask for the bridge. He leaves, and I am now thinking of you. We are going to have dinner. I reach the bridge,   
and step out of the turbolift. And then I see her. I see her eyes, which are lonely. And then it 'hits' me, as Lt. Paris would say. She is in love with you. You have told me how   
you used to love her, and I could tell that you still longed for her. She declines an invitation to eat with us, and I look for her approval. She nods, and we leave. It is then I notice Naomi Wildman hiding by the operations console. I give her a small smile, and we leave. You talk happily, but all I feel is guilt, for I never meant to hurt her.  
  
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Do you like it? I might do a sequel from Naomi's perspective, if I get enough reviews and   
if I fell like it.  



	3. I'm Confused

Hello! Man, isn't it funny where inspiration can come from? I was reading the Odyssey (a very dry and boring translation of it) when inspiration struck at me for this story. As promised, here is Naomi's version of what happened in 'Even Though My Heart is Breaking It's Nice to See Him Smile' and 'I Didn't Mean to Hurt Her'.  
  
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We're finally back at Earth. It's a little scary, I mean, I'm one of the few who haven't seen Earth in person before. But Mom said a lot of good things about it, so it can't be all bad. Still, I wanted to talk to her. I knew that she would tell me some stories about Earth and maybe I'll stop feeling so scared. I knew that she would be up on the bridge, so I head up there. When I get there, Commander Chakotay is there as well, and she looks sort of sad. Not quite what I expected, but still I wondered why she was so sad. So I did the logical thing. For me, anyways. I hid underneath the Ops console and rigged my PADD to the security system. They haven't said anything for a while. She looks really sad though, but she's trying to hide it. And then Seven comes in. Seven and the Commander invite her to dinner, but she says no. Then, the weirdest thing happened. She and Seven shared a really long look, all serious and sad. And Chakotay didn't even notice! Seven seemed to be saying she was sorry, and it was like she was saying that it's all right. And then Seven and the Commander started to leave, and Seven saw me! I was frozen, just frozen with fear that she would say something. But she just smiled, and it was a really, really sad smile, like the ones people gave when Mom was crashed on the planet and almost died. And then she left. I heard her sigh softly, and then, a few minutes later; I heard something I never thought I'd hear. She was crying, very softly to herself. I'm so confused. Oops, I think I just said that aloud. Oh no! I did! Now she knows I'm here! "Naomi?" she says very softly. I come out and I must have looked really sad or something, because she said, "What's wrong? Why are you confused?" I looked up at her, and she sits down in her chair and invites me to sit on her lap. I do, and I ask her why she's so sad. She thinks for a moment, and says, finally, "Even though my heart is breaking, it's nice to see him smile." She says in a tired voice, like she's been crying forever. And then, she gets a transmission from some Admiral or something, and I leave. I think I'll go ask Tom and B'Elanna about what she said.  
  
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Well, that's it! With a few reviews, I'll do a big one from both Tom and B'Elanna's perspective. I can't believe that I've done so many! This was only supposed to be a one shot fic! Oh well, life happens. Please review, will you?   



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